There is no doubt that some young adults are more than ready to leave their parents’ homes. They graduate high school and go to college, the military, a job, a gap year, a church mission or something else and never look back.
But for many others, leaving their parents’ home can be a challenge. In addition to the financial change, it can also be emotionally heavy (both for you and for your parents). Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re planning to move.
Making the choice to leave your parents’ house
The first thing to consider is whether you’re leaving your parents’ house for the right reasons:
You feel financially ready to support yourself, including a stable income and a solid credit history. You are ready to take on the challenges of being self-sufficient. You are looking for more privacy than just your bedroom.
You are looking for experiences that are not available when you live with your parents.
If you’re only thinking about moving because you had a temporary disagreement with your parents or “all your friends are doing it,” it may be wise to take a step back and come up with a concrete plan.
In most cases, you will want to discuss your plans with your parents. They can advise you if they think you are ready, help you with moving plans and discuss how they can support you. Trying to keep your plans a secret can be a sign that you may not be ready to move yet. If your relationship with your parents is strained, find a trusted adult (preferably someone a little older) and talk to them about your plans.
Have a financial plan
If you think you are emotionally ready to leave your parents’ house, you need to make sure your finances are in order. Besides rent, food and utilities, there are a lot of other expenses that you may not be aware of (since your parents probably pay them for you!). This can include things like auto insurance, health insurance, gym memberships, student loan payments, clothing, gas and auto maintenance, gifts, and savings.
In addition, you will inevitably also need to buy some furniture and things for your new home!
If you haven’t already, set a budget for what your finances will look like once you move. Look at your income compared to your potential expenses, and make sure you are conservative with your expenses – you may not fully realize what your expenses will be until you move. You might even consider living with your new budget for a month or two to get a better idea of how realistic it might be.
Consider the one-time moving costs
As you prepare to move, you’ll want to have the money to cover some of the one-time costs associated with moving. Your costs to actually move can be minimal if you just grab some friends and just toss your stuff in the back of a pickup truck. If you are moving across the country or have more things to move. In addition, you probably need money for an apartment deposit or money to furnish your new home.
In addition to these costs, make sure you also have an emergency fund. In most cases, moving is not an emergency, so you shouldn’t have to pay for it with your emergency fund. You want to have a healthy emergency fund for when you move so you can pay for the ACTUAL emergencies.
Get your credit in a good place
Another hidden cost for many people is the cost of not having good credit. If you have below average credit, you may not have easy access to loans and other financial products. If you do qualify for a loan, you may have to pay a higher interest rate. Many potential landlords also check the credit scores of potential tenants – so poor or no credit could disqualify you from the apartment you’re looking at.
If you’re in a situation where you have a bad or no credit history, you’ll want to work on that before you go. You can ask your parents to add you as an authorized user to one of their credit cards. Then apply for a student credit card or other credit card intended for those with limited credit histories. Just be sure to keep your credit card spending within your means.
The emotional costs of moving
Leaving your childhood home is not only a financial transaction, but it can also be an emotional one. And remember, it’s not just emotional for you, it can be emotional for your parents too. Even if you think you are ready, you may find it challenging, especially in the first few weeks and months.
One way to help with the transition is to have open and honest communication with your parents to make sure you’re both on the same page. Do you expect to come by for free to do your laundry? Are your parents expecting you for weekly family dinners? What are the basic rules for unexpected “pop-in” visits? If you’ve moved further afield, what are the expectations for things like video chats or Zoom calls? Making sure you both agree on these things can help ensure a smooth transition.
Find friends who share similar values and make them your new “family away from home”
Another way to stay emotionally healthy is to take root near your new home. This is especially true if your new home is far away from your parents. You can find friends with whom you share the same values at work, at local organization meetings, and even in your neighborhood.
In case you forgot, Meetup.com has communities of people who meet for different reasons in different cities around the world. It might be worth checking out one of these local gatherings to see if you find someone or a group of people who could become your new “family away from home.”
Final Thoughts
Moving out of your parents’ house is a big step, both emotionally and financially. It is important to make sure you have your finances in order before you move, as this can increase the chances of a successful transition.
Draw up a budget, plan your moving costs and make sure you have an emergency fund even after your move. After you move, make sure that you and your parents have the same expectations as you move into this new phase in your relationship.
This post How to leave your parents’ house (emotionally and financially)
was original published at “https://thecollegeinvestor.com/21326/move-parents-house-emotionally-financially/”
